


ready or not

by badbadnotgood



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012 Era (Phandom), Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-02 02:12:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17879147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/badbadnotgood/pseuds/badbadnotgood
Summary: “Dan,” Phil says, looking around awkwardly, “Why are you having a bread epiphany?”Dan rolls his eyes dramatically. “Because it’s 11AM and you’ve domesticated me.”





	ready or not

“How is it both peculiar and extremely underwhelming that both of us are doing a Tesco run?” Phil asks.

Dan grabs a 5 pack of sultana bagels and cradles them like a new born. “We’re almost out of bread and we have too much food in the flat to do an online shop. Also, I wanted a walk. Might as well get something out of it.”

“Mourning the loss of our couch already,” Phil sighs.

“I never forced you out of your cocoon of cushions.”

“I wanted snacks to watch our programmes with and you never buy anything unhealthy enough.”

Dan snorts and moves to the other side of the aisle. “You’ll thank me in fifty years when your skin isn’t drooping off your skull, Philip.”

“I will age gracefully,” Phil declares, tailing him. “Dad bod and all.”

Dan isn’t listening, too busy contemplating the granary. Phil grimaces at the whole grain, perpetually appalled at Dan’s insistence that they be healthier. If Phil’s going to have a nice few slices of toast or a sandwich, he’s going to enjoy them in all their artery-blocking glory. Dan can put up.

“Oh,” Dan says to himself.

“Why are you looking all deer-in-headlights-y?”

“I just realised that I never really want brown bread anymore.”

“Okay,” Phil says slowly, also contemplating the granary. “Interesting character development.”

“No, like, I used to like it. But you really like the seeded bread so I stopped getting it.”

“You can get it if you want,” Phil says. “Don’t let my habits stop you.”

“It’d go to waste, though.”

“Dan,” Phil says, looking around awkwardly, “Why are you having a bread epiphany?”

Dan rolls his eyes dramatically. “Because it’s 11AM and you’ve domesticated me.”

Phil stares at him blankly. “I thought I did that 2 years ago when I’d make you sit on my bed and play Halo and feed me toast.”

“You re such a shit,” Dan says. “I’m being serious here.”

“Okay,” Phil says dubiously. “Maybe expand on your bread metaphor, then.”

Dan heaves out a sigh. This is going to turn into a whole thing, Phil thinks. It’s ridiculous but it’s hard to pinpoint when something’s ever been conventional with Dan. There’s no reason they can’t have whatever this is out at home, but Dan is defensive and stressed lately and Phil doesn’t exactly want to tell him how to feel and when to feel.

“I’m serious about you and I’m serious about us,” Dan says.

“I know you are. I never had any doubts about that.”

“Right. And I’m stressed off my tits completely and I know it’s driving a wedge between us, no matter how much you reassure me that you have everything sorted. Of course I trust you. Like, I trust you with my bloody life, Phil. But everything that’s going on is being amplified in my head and I feel like I keep fucking up.”

Phil can just about hear the staff announcement intercom in the distance. It reminds him that they’re still in a supermarket, with people, and that the world hasn’t suddenly just stopped.

“Okay,” Phil says evenly. “Okay. There’s a lot to feel stressed about, I completely understand, but there’s also a lot to be excited about. You’re doing nothing deliberately wrong, Dan, you’re just reacting. We’ve got a lot on our plate but I know we can deal with it and I’m gonna be with you the whole time.”

Dan looks at him for a good ten seconds. “Let’s pay for this and go.”

*

Phil pads into the kitchen one Sunday morning thinking about coffee and why Dan rudely escaped his warm death grip and left him to freeze.

“Oh, I see how it is,” Phil says when he spots Dan in the kitchen. “You can cling to me like an octopus but when I spoon you it’s not good enough.”

“Give it a rest,” Dan says warmly. “My sleeping is all fucked again. Was laying there for ages trying to go back to sleep but it never came. Sorry to leave.”

Phil kisses him on the cheek when he leans over to grab the kettle. “Don’t worry about it. I’m positive insomnia is a side effect of the meds, but it passes in no time. If you wanna blame it on that.”

“Yeah,” Dan mumbles.

“I won’t tell anyone if you don’t,” Phil winks, pleased to see it win Dan’s rare bashful smile. “You’ll just have to give them time to kick in. If it takes longer than four months, then so be it. The outcome will be worth it.”

“What if they kill off my sex drive,” Dan says, wide-eyed and mortified.

“Think they’ll have to try really hard to do that,” Phil says into his coffee. “But no. You’re usually not too bad with side effects, so I think you’ll be fine.”

Dan takes a deep breath. “You’ll have to be patient with me, you know. Me accidentally dropping a mug and crying over it for three hours may be a common occurrence. Fair warning.”

“I love you, like, a lot,” Phil says easily. “Break the whole fucking kitchen if you feel like it. It would make for a nice trip to IKEA.”

He gets a kiss on the cheek from Dan and considers it a small victory in this terrifyingly huge instalment of their life.


End file.
